Amazing thoughts and feelings,


O.K., so I’ve got to be honest I am tired of dealing with cancer. I have spent the entire summer in doctor’s offices, getting pricked and poked, enduring round after round of chemotherapy, feeling sick and exhausted, bones aching, and I am just really getting weary of living in this documentary about breast cancer!! I am ready for an action adventure, a comedy, or even a sappy chick flick. Just please, somebody change the channel!!

I was crying out to God today and found this verse in the Amplified Bible that seemed to fit my mood. “Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice.” Psalm 55:17

I am so thankful that God will hear my complaints and not judge me for it. There is just something about telling my Savior about my struggles that makes things easier…

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Please kick me while I am down

I say this with all sincerity. My father passed away today, my mother is having surgery tomorrow, and I am still waiting on the results of my mammogram. With all of the turmoil, please, kick me while I am down so I do not have to go through much more for much longer.

I have realized, it is much easier to deal with all of the bad news at once than to have it fed to you over and over again during an extended period. So, now that my roller coaster has begun, I will buckle up my harness and just roll along.

I have a tremendous support system and I appreciate the fact my youngest son was able to take off of work to be with me, and my co-workers are supportive.

I got home from work, had some rolled tacos and a stiff drink of Jack (my dad’s favorite). Here is to you old man and to you being so stubborn you would not even get in the ambulance yesterday. I love you and I will forever be grateful for the short time we had together. Your stories of the Navy and the shipboard life of a boatswains mate were always entertaining and your fight for Veteran’s rights were energizing. Thank you Dad for everything you did.

Wounded in Action and Inaction

Cultural diversity is not acceptable in many countries, but in America, we are supposed to be the great melting pot. Regardless of the many cultural influences, most Americans are lacking in basic social skills. Two of the biggest skills that we need to improve upon are respect and compassion.  Many people in our society are oblivious and are not willing to learn about new people, places, religions, or cultures. When did anyone give American’s the right to judge people, and when did the fabric of our families and our country begin to fall apart? I ask myself, “When did this happen?” and I realize quite quickly it escalated after that fateful day September 11, 2001. I also recognize that our mindsets can be changed by life altering events or forced circumstances.

Our country was devastated in all aspects, but it also changed the way people in our country would look at their neighbors, and anyone else they would come into contact with. September 11, 2001 would also tear families apart and send our young men and women into a battle they will never fully recover from and they will never win.

Men and women who served our country during this current time of war are heroes. But what is the ultimate cost? They will never admit to being victims, but Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is affluent among most of the military that have served in this war. It is often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. Government services are not providing adequate support or funding for these individuals and many are left handicapped because of the lack of proper services.

Case in point, I see men and women who come home from the war with traumatic brain injuries. Imagine your child serving for several tours coming home and not getting the services they need….  As I continue with this blog, you will read some of the most disturbing things I encounter with the way our government is treating the Wounded War Fighter’s that come home alive but might not be able to take care of themselves.  I will also point out some additional flaws that have failed our military and some unfair flaws involving their pay. So they are wounded every which way.

You, your horse, your village, and my observation

Do you have a horse? Did you ride in on a horse? Can you pay for freaking horse? Or, better yet, can you pay for your car, your rent, and your children?

If you are in your early twenties, I am willing to bet that you may not have the education and I am willing to guess that if you have children, you cannot afford them. I would also bet the horse is broken and close to making it to the glue factory.

So, please explain to me why the hell I should give a damn about your issues?  Why should I support your life choices?   Here is why…  you may be a complete screw up, but, your children should not suffer because of your complete ignorance. While I cannot afford to raise everyone’s children, my village will always step up and help when needed. The village that raised me taught me that life happens and sometimes you need to ask ..  My village is strong enough to help out others.

Where is your village? Why doesn’t your village step up to the plate?

Is your village so broken that it cannot even raise you and your bad decisions up? If, so, I would consider finding a new village.  Everyone is faced with decisions and sometimes we make poor ones. When those decisions impacts another human being, is there any sort of warning that alarms us

Do not get me wrong, I know that life happens and there are some things that just cannot be helped and I realize that. But, what chaps my behind more than anything is when someone wants to sit and judge…  and it may sound like I am judging, but I am not. I think it important that everyone make a difference in a child’s life and I was the afforded that opportunity this past weekend.

Everyone is pretty familiar with the saying “Random act of kindness”, but how many of us can say we have done it? How many of us can say that we do it without expectations? It is pretty hard to do. I am selfish, self-centered, and spoiled. I admit this, but my village that raised me also taught me tolerance.

So I challenge you to help someone in your village and be tolerant.